Thursday, November 1, 2007

From THE BOOK OF BEGINNINGS

THE WHOLE CATASTROPHE


a painting by Anthonius depicting various religious icons.









Chapter II

THE APPLE

God had created man, Adam and his woman Eve. He had given them a free will and now when he heard them laughing in the garden he wondered what it was they were doing.
When ever he visited them they recognised him and would greet him,"Hello our Father who was in heaven"
He decided that he should disguise himself so that he could observe them without them knowing. It would need to something simple, not pompous and yet with beauty and dignity.
And so it was that God disguised himself as an apple.








Portrait of God (as an apple)


Chapter xxxi

EVE AND THE DEVIL

Adam and Eve had just been created.
They spent most of the days getting to know each other and their new surroundings. Adam named a few animals and Eve searched through the forest discovering all kinds of edible fruits and plants.
They were sitting under an acorn tree when Adam said, “Why can’t we ever see God?”
Eve had thought about it but had come to the conclusion that as they were happy and content it wasn’t worth further thought.
“I can hear him you know” said Adam. Eve looked bewildered “God? You can hear God?” “Yes”-said Adam “I can hear him above the trees”
“Above the trees? That’s not God, that’s the wind”
“No I can hear God” insisted the naked man “And I’m going to find him”.
“ What are you going to do?” asked Eve beginning to feel the first pangs of doubt about her role as the man’s companion.
“We are going to cut down some trees so we can see him” “We?” asked Eve biting the end off a banana.
Adam set to work; he made some tools out of stones bound to sticks, and began his task of cutting down trees. By chance of hitting two stones together, he created a spark and set some dry wood on fire. Having created fire his task was easier and he set whole areas of the forest on fire. The amount of smoke he created darkened the sky and he still couldn’t see God.
“It’s alright” he reassured Eve, who now had to resort to collecting meager plants and digging for roots to eat. “When the smoke clears we will see him”

The bare blackened landscape was stark and foreboding, the sun burnt down from a metal blue sky.
“You know” said Adam, scratching his sooty black crutch “ I think, we’ve been looking in the wrong place, I think we should go in the direction of those mountains and look there”
Eve sighed and ate the last remaining apple. “I don’t know about God” she thought “but I think I’ve found the devil”

Chapter XXXX

THE SACRIFICE OF ABRAHAM

Abraham arose from his bed early one morning and spoke in a reverent voice to God,
“God today I will demonstrate my total love and devotion to you. God replied “Thank you Abe’ and what is it that you have in mind to do?” Abraham looked up and said
“ I will go from here to a high place and there I will sacrifice my son Isaac, as a devotion to you!” “ Really?” said God “And why would you want to do that?”
“ Because” said Abraham “He is your gift to me and I want to return to you what I love most on this earth”
There was a short pause and God was heard to take in a short breath
“Won’t the boy be upset?" Abraham shook his beard “ I assure you God, that he is a devoted son and will agree with what I want”
“Abraham my friend” said God “you must understand that, though I admire your devotion, it is well beyond my expectation that you kill your son. Human sacrifice is hardly what I had in mind when I created mankind, in fact We are beginning to wonder where this whole idea of sacrifice came from, it always ends in death and some times not just the animal.”
There was another pause; Abraham stroked his beard in quiet agitation.
God continued to speak in low tone “Take the Cain and Abel story, two people sacrifice to me, not something I’d expected and then the wind changes…. (This was not my doing) and the next thing we have a misunderstanding about me not accepting a sacrifice and one brother kills another..So you see Abraham, We are, to say the least, ambivalent about the whole sacrifice thing.”
Abraham stood silent for a long time “I think God that you should let me worship you in the way I want. You know I worship you but I feel I need to atone for the wrongs I’ve done” God interrupted…”Abraham, you have done no wrong, and for what you have done wrong, you are forgiven” Abraham stamped his foot “That’s not good enough! How can you say that! Its not that I don’t trust your word God, but I need a sign, blood for sin that’s what I need to see.I can understand you might think me sacrificing my son is perhaps inappropriate, but I want to show you my devotion. What about a goat, what if I sacrifice a goat?"
“Abraham if you want to sacrifice a goat to me, then you must do so for your own peace of mind, but somehow, We think that in the end, it will all end in tears”













INSERT FOUND IN LAST PAGES OF ABOVE CHAPTER


The drawing appears to be a caricature of Moses.
This is apparently an early example of a religious cartoon.
It is drawn on vellum and shows evidence of being burnt, perhaps an attempt to destroy it.
It is un dated and the Flemish text reads


"I was speaking to God and then..I fell in."





Chapter IIIV

THE WISDOM OF KING SOLOMON.

The young Prince Solomon was virile and had as his friends said “an eye for the girls”. But young Sol was no fool, he was an astute student of the laws of God as given to the nation by the great patriarch,Moses.
He had seen how in his Father’s life, uncontrolled sexual desires could cause great unhappiness if not death.
The Mosaic laws were clear YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY!
The young Prince already developing into wisdom agreed with the reasoning.
“I shall never take another man’s wife” he declared before the altar of God.
And so it was that when he became King he took to himself many wives.
His wives were short women and tall, dark of skin and light, thin and fat, young and old.
He had so many wives that he slept with some just once a year.
So it was that the wise King Solomon never committed adultory.

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